I skipped my workout this morning.

I convinced myself to skip it by telling myself that I would do it during nap time. I won’t, but that’s okay. I will do one tomorrow.

I’m trying to figure out when to listen to myself because I know what I need and when to ignore myself because I’m talking myself out of what I need. I know I need to exercise for my health and longevity, but I don’t want to. I know it is good for my body, but also I’m tired. When is it okay to take the day off and when am I just being lazy?

My counselor asked me the other day if I am a black and white person. My immediate reaction was no, but the more I spoke, the more I realized that I guess I am. I told her about how alcoholism runs in my family, so I decided not to drink at all ever. I told her about how for the first six months of the year, I worked out every single day. Then I missed a day, and stopped working out altogether. I’m sure this view on life has served me in some aspect, but it’s probably time to blend the colors a little more.

So, I woke up this morning and felt very strongly like I didn’t want to exercise. I decided to listen to that feeling today, and instead I got up, got ready, did my morning chores, got our stuff ready for the splash pad, read my book, and now I’m writing this. The babies are still sleeping, and my brain is readying itself for the day. Tomorrow I’ll take care of my body again, but today I’m taking care of my mind.

That’s important too.